Dreams

My dreams flew me to the place where
I wanted to go but my mind didn’t care

In the fight between reality and imagination
My soul followed the dreams and I did dare


I did dare to do what my heart said
People thought I would be dead

I laughed and walked on fire
While their faces turned red


Doing things what I think I can’t do
Makes me feel like a hero in a crew

Every time I think I have found myself
I do find a new me in lieu


Life is not about following their way
To get your life, jump in the bay

God has a plan for all on this earth
Make your path with your own clay

Raw thoughts.........Rupturing out of mind

Hi,
Writing a post again. Since the last couple of days, I am getting the urge to write something. So, here I come. I am thinking of writing regularly on this blog. Lets see how it goes. I want to throw out vent of emotions from me. I am finding it hard to find a way to express how I feel. I think and I do hope that writing is one of the ways to ease out on the emotions. And while writing these words, I am feeling good. Words are very important in one's life. It can make or break someone's life. I feel that word is the basic structure of life, atleast since the day a kid start understanding it. A lot can be depicted about a person by listening and analyzing the words he uses. Words are powerful. Even the unspoken words are powerful. Just words in your self talk or imagination do shape you and your life.

The same questions come to my mind again and again. What do I have to do in life? What am I supposed to do? Confused......Still trying to find out the direction.

One realization - I do love challenges and I become more productive when there is some change or challenge.

Let me try to find the list of things which if I do will make me happy and the things which actually makes me happy and also the things which made me happy.

Present
1. Listening good songs
2. Watching Movies
3. Listening to the Secret
4. Spending time with Shaurya
5. Gym

Future (atleast thats what I think)
1. Learn Guitar
2. Learn Swimming
3. Join Toastmaster Club
4. Write a book
5. Start a small startup
6. Join Theater
7. Do an executive MBA from IIMA
8. Enriching my vocabulary


Past
1. Studying and competing in class till class 10th.
2. When I got 82% in class 10th (95% in Maths)
3. When I acted on stage in the company function
4. When I was in love and was courting my wife, the then friend
5. When I got my first job in Infosys

Ok, there might be and I would say there must be many more items in the list. But at 1:32 am in the night, I could write only these. I would pursue the list of future and while continue doing the things which make me happy.

Ultimately what matters is being happy. Everything is waste if you are not enjoying your life and I think one should keep checking his list and find out what are the things which make him happy.

I would go to sleep now. My eyes want to go into dreams now.
Good Night.

after almost 2 years

I am writing in this blog after almost 2 years. There is so much uncertainty and volatility in me. I am not sure what do I want out of life. When I see India winning world cup, I wish I should have been a cricketer. When I see a good movie, I wish I should have been an actor. I see myself always wanting to be one or the other person. Why not myself? Life is confusing if you think it like that else it is simple. Last week I was attending a training program - 7 habits of highly effective people. There was an exercise where we were told to write "how do you want yourself to be remembered? Or what is the purpose of your life?". I scribbled for around 15 minutes. I was amused to find that it was difficult for me to find what do I want out of life. I wrote I want to be an entrepreneur and generate employment and spread happiness. The question from the instructor was howq much time are you devoting for those activities. I was stunned to find it was almost zero. So what do I need to do. I still don't have any plan.
But I think is it necessary to have a plan. If you are happy and enjoying your life, it should be good enough. There is sop much top learn from life. Its never ending experience.

24 June - Delhi

Another update post! I am more devout writing my blog than I used to be earlier. These days I feel like an aficionado having full confidence in myself. I have unearthed a new habit of challenging myself. I am enjoying this pristine habit. These days I feel I can achieve anything. I feel younger and younger as I am passing the yardsticks of life. The life is all about perspective. And I believe I have set my perspective right.

I am delighted with everything that has happened to me and thankful to God to giving me such a great life. I am not made for thinking negative. I am full of positive energy. You must be wondering why I am writing all these traits about myself. I am not intentionally writing this. Words are automatically being typed from the keyboard. The thought process is being converted to words. I don’t have any complains.

From today I am determined to do daily learning. I have taken cue from what I used to do during my childhood. If I had any doubts on which subject to study and could not decide, I used to make chits of different subjects. The chit handpicked by me without seeing was to be the subject for me for the next couple of hours. This way I used to kill the confusion. I have written about 10 tasks which I want to do daily. I am committed to do those tasks daily in a span of 24 hours. This will be real fun.

What else! I am writing this blog as I picked up that folded paper out of the bunch on which BLOG was written.

Recent changes in my life:
1. Started pursuing guitar as a hobby
2. Improve your vocabulary is the new mantra in my mind
3. Bought a house in Crossings Republik
4. Booked a date for GMAT
5. Started another blog specifically to track the preparation and keep encouraging myself
6. I will start writing the diary again from today
7. Twitter – Keep updating

Another post of my genre...

Why am I writing a post after a gap. I had put a task in my to do list. So I am here. Updates: I have joined a guitar class. Oh not again!!!!Yes mate, I joined this time not to leave it again. On my first stint with guitar, you have to meet me over a cup of coffee. The guitar class where I go these days is pretty ok and the guitar teacher is very professional and an expert in playing. Compared to my classes in the last institute, here I am not part of any group. Instead a dedicated teacher teaches me the nuances of guitar.

Another news to break is that finally I booked a house. Yes, few days from now, when the loan amount is disbursed, I will be the proud owner of a house which is yet to be constructed. You have heard that right, the house is still under construction or rather the construction is just started. Actually I will be paying for a co-ordinate in space some 60 ft high. But I have to wait till the loan is approved. I was almost becoming a house owner last year but just because of a loan agent who could not expedite the process of sanctioning loan, my future house completely became a future dream. Am I becoming too sentimental, philosophical about the house. May be.....

These days I am trying to learn new things....you must have got the idea by reading the first paragraph of this post. Apart from guitar, I also started going to TM club. TM - Toast Masters Club....You dont have to raise a toast there, you have to speak and listen and feed your valuable comments. I am pretty impressed by the way they conduct the meeting. I would love to be part of this club.

Somehow or the other I feel that I can do everything....hahhahahhahhahahhahah. No thats true. Why to be a sterotype and put the block just by your thoughts. Do what you like doing. Dont worry about others.

My list:

1. Vacation in Darjeeling, Ladakh. Being in natures lap and feeling the serene tranquility.
2. Get in the habit of reading. I am going to buy some recommended books and read them. One of my wishlist is to have a library.
3. Master the guitar.
4. Join a theater group.
5. Volunteer in an NGO.


You know the fun is to challenge yourself. I am getting into this habit of challenging myself and doing the task.

I will pour in more thoughts sometime later.

Law of attraction

I listen to the Secret video more frequently now. I have started believing on the concept of "Law of attraction" . It is so true. You have to believe in this concept. It gives result.

Ask the universe and you will get the answer from universe. But you should be ready to receive. Your life is totally controlled by your thoughts. If you think you can, you can and if you think you cant you cant.

Thoughts manifest to things. It is such a lovely concept. I have implemented the law of attraction and I got the result. If God has given you this power, why not use it in a positive way. Why to block your mind. Think what you want and how you want your life, you will get the ideas. Universe will answer to your thoughts. You don't have to think about how. You just have to think of what you want and believe in that. If you truly believe and visualize yourself in getting what you want, universe will do the rest. The universe will answer.

This is a very good concept to practice. I am trying to be more organized these days. I occasionally go to zenhabits and look into different habits which can be developed. Once upon a time, around a month back, I used to wake up early at 5 daily. I will restart that habit. It feels so good when I come out of bed early. It feels refreshing and the whole day it feels nice.

There are many things in to-do list. I want to do so many things. I want to enjoy my life. It is fun if you enjoy the process and do not wait for something to happen. One should not be completely result oriented. If you enjoy the process and enjoy the path in getting the result, you will enjoy your life. Today I started doing deep breathing for few minutes. Deep breathing really calms you and improves your concentration.

Life is great and there is no reason to worry. I have enquired about the guitar classes in Dwarka and I am planning to change my music teacher. Another achievement this week is that I started updating my resume. I felt relieved once I updated the projects I worked upon for the last 2 years. This was long pending on me.

I am also planning to start putting something on my vision board. This will keep my dreams alive. You know life is all about dreaming and you have to dream and enjoy your life. We are on this earth to be happy and make others happy.

Recuperation

I got myself operated last week. The operation was on 22nd January. The operation was for a cyst under my neck. In medical terms it was submandibular excision. When I visited Max hospital on 14th Jan, the ENT specialist advised me to go for surgery. I was a bit apprehensive to go for operation, but he convinced me that there wont be any problem. He asked to get the blood test done.
Let me explain the prologue of this story. Before meeting the ENT specialist Mr Atul Mittal, I had seen couple of doctors but that didn't help much. I was on antibiotic and then advised for FNAC (I dont know what that stands for) but a needle was pierced in the affected area. For the first time they failed to get any tissue, then I was cordially invited to that diagnostic centre again to pierce another needle in the same area. The irony is that this was my new year gift. The first attempt was made by lady doctor and the second and final attempt was made by his husband. Then the pain started. The swelling was getting bigger. I had pain too. It was almost like a distorted ping pong ball. Then to make the situation worse, I started to have fever daily during evening. All these suffering lead me to see a good doctor.
When I visited the doctor again in Saket, he saw the blood test report and asked me to get it operated as soon as possible. I didn't have any choice other than choosing a date for the D-day. The doctor asked how is 21st Jan....Then came the negation, no...that is our wedding anniversary. Thanks to my wife Neetu, she wanted me to be well and not in recuperation at least in our 4th wedding anniversary. I agreed to that idea. Finally the D day was decided to be 22nd Jan. Then the usual formalities.
The hospitality business or shall I say hospital business has gone a long way in India. Now they present the options available to the patients in a way as if they are selling a product to a customer. I was told about rent of the one bed room where I will be kept pre and post operation and other charges for the surgery. When the Doctor came to know that I have a corporate medi assist card, a smile came to our face (his and mine) because none of us had to worry for the bucks. He was happy as he can charge the exaggerated amount and I was happy as I dont have to pay from my pocket. After doing those formalities, I was taken to anasthesia dept for getting myself checked if I can go for anasthesia on the D-day. The anasthesist gave green signal. I was told not to eat anything after dinner on 21st and nothing on 22nd morning.
After celebrating our wedding anniversary, we went to the hospital in the morning. We started early at around 6:30 in the morning. The situation was similar to the bride been taken to grooms house after marriage.......but it was the other way...groom been taken to hospital after the marriage anniversary.....dont know if this makes any sense.......I was admitted after depositing some nominal fees(to be adjusted in the final expense). I was taken to room 2409. I was given the green coloured gown to be worn for the surgery. The surgery time was 10:00 am, thats what was communicated to us by nurse. At 9:30, I was moved on bed and that feeling of being cut and operated crawled my mind. I looked at the faces of my family members....Neetu wishing me luck. I was kept in the pre operation ward for almost 2 hours. Then at around 11:30, I was taken to the operation theatre. There I met the anasthesist who examined me earlier. Another lady was with her. At that last moment she was explaining me the repurcussion of this operation. She didnt bother to frighten me by mentioning that during operation a vein near lips can be disturbed. That may keep half of my lips closed. She gave proper demonstration of this and asked me to do the same. Then she sarcastically laughed and mentioned that why am I keeping my lips half opened. I dont remember anything after that.
I was regaining consiousness at around 4 pm. I was getting that nauseating feeling. It felt as if I will vomit. After some time I was taken to my room 2409. There I saw everyone in my family waiting impatiently and worried. Thankfully everything went fine. Since then I am recuperating. Initially it was very painful to swallow anything. I was on painkiller for couple of days. Now the situation is much better. I can eat everything and there is very less pain while swallowing. This Saturday I will go to the Doctor to get the stitches removed.
This was the third operation of my life.